Official Apology Department

 

Libeled Statesman Rep. Adam Schiff (D, CA)

An official determination has been made by the Independent Fact Checkers of the Meta Stasis Corp. that an insinuation about ties between Rep. Schiff and deceased pedophile Jeffrey Epstein is FALSE.

Should have known it was all hooey when they said it was the FBI that was investigating the congressman’s emails. As John Wayne would say, “That’ll be the day.”

We hereby officially apologize for having tried to pass on the tweet posted by one or more nefarious reputation vandals, who should also be officially identified by said Fact Checkers so they can be doxed and SWATTED at their private residences and places of employment. This tweet: 



Are we clear? Here’s the real truth about the impeccable personal life of Rep. Schiff, courtesy of Wikipedia:


You can see a moment of the man’s perfect marriage captured photographically right before your eyes. And who but a manly-type manly man could compete in marathons and like that? Where could he possibly have the time to be consorting with scum like Epstein? Couldn’t. No way. You couldn’t keep a secret like that in Washington, D.C., let alone Burbank, CA.

Are we prostrate with sorriness enough yet? No? Then here’s our final definitive word on the subject:

 
Are we cool now? Cool.



















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