Wymyn Swymmyn’
This is where I’m supposed to weigh in on the swimmers of Penn. As it happens, I have all the necessary background to do exactly that. Ten members of my family, including my father and and his father, went to the University of Pennsylvania. Also, I went to Mercersburg Academy, a very serious swimming school. When I was a freshman at the Academy, we had two champion swimmers, both of whom went to Harvard. One became the captain of the Harvard swimming team. The other slept with a Kennedy girl. He went on to become a VP of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. He was dumb as a fucking post and built like a brick shithouse. Could any woman anywhere, ever, beat him in a 50 meter freestyle sprint? No. Not a chance. Credentials for comment? Yeah. If there is any sport in the world where women are at a permanent disadvantage, it’s swimming. I kid you not. Well, there’s also all the track and field events, tennis, hockey, basketball, football, baseball, bicycling, and soccer. But swimming is where it